My Little Monsters

At first I thought I was buying a home with a large section of old crab apple trees from a now defunct nursery program. Well, maybe I'm close. The neighbor's, who own a large section of land in the area, produced a small leaf magnolia variety, and has large stands of cedars, and magnolias. So maybe this was some of their stuff too? I don't know. All I know is the Callery pear and the migrant robins produce a lethal combination resulting in copious amounts of bird guano on visiting cars and this afternoon, me.
Check out this tie bit from the NPS Weed of The Week page about Callery pear trees: 
30-50 ft. tall, 20-30 ft. wide; young trees may be thorny.
That last part is no joke, I tried to cut some fall branches for decoration, but the thorns are so large and sharp that it wasn't worth it. 
The tree are also spread by birds that eat the fruit and proceed to have raging diarrhea all over the place.
I guess my winter activities will include pulling up small saplings, and sawing down older trees and treating the stumps. A pain in the ass, like many other things that have made themselves know with this property. When I first thought they where crab apple trees, I thought maybe I could sell them. Know I realize I'm stuck with worthless weeds that need to be destroyed before they take over like the kudzu, and the fire ants. 
If I was going to have an orchard, I'd rather it be pecans or apple trees. Not this poop projectile making ornamental nuisance.
Sad really.